Can we talk for a minute about this idea of letting other people down? Over the past several weeks, I have had this topic come up at least a dozen times in my coaching conversations. Time and time again, I hear the same version that goes something like this:
“I know what I want to do. Just thinking about it gets me excited and makes me happy. But, I’m too scared. I feel like me doing something different from what I am doing now will down let my significant other/parent/best friend (insert close personal relationship of your choice here).”
SAY WHAT?!?!?! My next question is always, “what did your significant other/parent/best friend say when you told them you wanted to pursue this dream?”. And nine times out of ten, they respond with, “They think it’s a great idea!” or “I haven’t actually told them.”. To which I respond, “What then, is stopping you?”.
Listen, I get it. Once you discover what it is that you want to do, you may be facing the fact that it is so completely far out there from what you have been doing. Or maybe it’s not what you went to school for. Or maybe you have just scared the crap out of yourself because for the first time in life you have actual clarity about what you want. These (and all the other limiting beliefs aka lies you are telling yourself) are all things you can face!!!
But telling yourself that you will let someone else (who supposedly loves you) that you don’t want to disappoint them, is just a bunch of malarkey. On a side note, if this is true then 1) let’s make sure what you are doing isn’t illegal, 2) let’s make sure that this is still a valuable relationship for you to be in or 3) let them deal with their problem of not being happy with you if you get what you want. It will in fact, be their problem, not yours.
There is a reason why flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first. You can’t help those around you, if you aren’t doing well in the first place. And it’s the same in life. You can’t fully give the best version of yourself to others (aka the world), if you are not being the very best version of yourself. And if you need permission to become who you want to become, do the thing that sets your soul on fire, build the dream business that you know would rock, then consider this your permission. You can absolutely do what you love! Free of guilt!
As always, if you need help doing this, I am here for you.